Monday, November 27, 2017

The O.C. Fan Fiction: The Cyber Monday Part 2


It's morning in the Cohen kitchen. Ryan and Seth both sipping coffee as they browse through all the various Cyber Monday deals..

Seth: Ryan you know whats a better gift than those finger-lames and that hatcha-craps?
Ryan: It scares me that you even know about those TOYS Seth.
Seth: I could ask you the same thing, how'd you know they were even toys buddy?
*Ryan embarrassed but tries to play it off*
Ryan: Well you know...I saw a..ugh commercial...
Seth: Likely story..Can you At least pretend to be stoked about what i'm about to say??
*Ryan unamused and focused on the next load of Amazon deals*
Ryan: Okay, fine ill take the bait..
Seth: My very first electric razor!
*Seth looks at his reflection in the microwave*
Seth: Yeah - once this thing grows a little fuller it will need a little trimarooskie! Just trying to prepare, that's all.
*Ryan rolls his eyes*
Ryan: You can't even grow a beard yet Seth.
*Seth points to a single hair growing out of his chin and shows Ryan*
Seth: What do you call that buddy, id say that's the start of my winter beard.
Ryan: I'd say it needs to go and you don't need to waste money on an electric razor to remove it..you've been holding on to that stray hair for weeks - I even saw you wearing a shower cap over your chin the other day and that's just weird man..
*Ryan walks over to Seth and attempts to pull his prized possession*
Seth: No dude - it's all I got, I have to protect it! The only thing us Cohen's are good at growing hair wise is elaborately thick eyebrows..
*Ryan struggles to even grab the hair (its that small)*
Ryan: Just hold still..almost got it...
*Sandy briskly walks in the kitchen*
Sandy: What in the name of Cyber Monday are you two doing? You two are missing all the cyber-deals!
*Ryan and Seth freeze and both look up surprised*
Seth: Dad don't say cyber.
Ryan: Well uhh..there's bigger matters to be had or smaller ones is more like it..
Seth: What he means to say is he was just admiring my upcoming winter beard..
Sandy: Beard? Are you talking about that single hair on your chin son? I don't think Summer is even into that..
Seth: Yes dad it's no shave November! She doesn't not like it - she hasn't complained yet!
Ryan: He's only got like 3 days left before December, besides we don't need beards in the winter - in Orange County.
Sandy: You heard the man - its about time for it to be gone..RYAN hold Seth down..this isn't gonna be pretty..
*Sandy proceeds to help Ryan out while he does the bidding, Seth struggling*
Seth: I'll never surrender!
*Kirsten walks in perfect timing to witness the torture*
*All three guys freeze and look up frazzled*
Kirsten: What in the heck are you three up to?! Seth are you okay!?
Sandy: You see hunny, Ryan and I are trying to get rid of Seth's "winter beard"..
Kirsten: Thank-heavens that lone ranger has got to go!
*Kirsten runs over to Seth and the gang with scissors*
Kirsten: Hold still i've been wanting to get rid of that thing for weeks!
*Rosa walks in and witnesses the horror that is going down on the kitchen counter*
*All four of them freeze and look up as if they were being busted for committing a vicious crime*
*Without a beat Rosa walks the other way as she mumbles under her breath with a smirk 
"gente blanca tonta" (silly white people).

THE END

If you enjoyed this years episode of Cyber Monday check out last years edition here